most of my friends ask me "why are you so negative?" to which i usually reply "i am not negative, i am an optimist who is being shredded apart" the same group say to me "you are too idealistic" as though it where an insult. my reply usually is "yes i am an idealist... it does not mean my idealism can not be real" those few words describe what i would probably require a 10,000 page book just to introduce the topic properly.
yet for me these few words say everything that i need to say with these few words my mind can Immediately access images, sensations, sounds, smells, touch, thoughts that scream through from the infinite past to the infinite future.. it becomes the universe..
yet i know that these few words are meaningless.... without the support necessary .... this form of support can take on any shape or form... words.. images.. movement anything..
i wish that the rest of my faculties would operate fast enough for me to actually be able to one day be able to express it.... that has to be the most frustrating aspect of my dyslexia.
i am tiered... i am exhausted... but i will not give up.
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