Forgive me Father....

it has been 5 days since i blogged....

well apart from having NO TIME because I've been staying late at work....


arg,.... will have something up here soon....

wedding date has been set... June 15th 2007 on a New Moon.. between two Full Moons in the same month... other wise referred to as a blue moon... (not the new moon but the idea that there are two full moons in one month) doesn't happen that often.. hence the "once in a blue moon" phrase...



the key needs to be talked about again...

and the missing princess has been found again.. lets see if she stays this time....

and lots of work....

and a certain Friend... who seems to be afraid of the things i might say so he is deleting my posts.... i have a saying "behave your self or prepare your self for total humiliation by the dragon, you'll know when you start seeing spirals"

One Small Step

In the News today...... the discovery of a possible of an extra solar earth like planet has just resurfaced my wish to emigrate away from Earth it self.... :) ok so its over 20 light years away.... but ouhh,..... here is the interesting part.... its in the constellation Libra.... funny that.... For you my October Girl

Special people

what is it about people who are special.... people with so much potecncial and so much to give... what is it about them that makes tham fall apart... break at the seams.... and why do they have to go abusing what they have...

one girl missing.... gone looking for herself... Little does she know that she is looking in all the wrong places...

one girl on a wild goose chase.... searching for something that has always been in front of her...


two different people.... same issues... same problems... both special ... yet both lost in a spiral of lies and deceit...

will they ever get out of this spiral?

stay tuned... the news will be updated as it comes...

Another one of those days

*sigh*

ever had those days when nothing seemed to work... and every thing suddenly started to crap out?

got to work... my RAID system failed on me as i was digitizing footage.... fixed that problem and... POOF.. the electricity goes out... black out for one hour.... some suggested that its an earth day thing..... however i know better... this is oil country... it amazes me how everything seemed to suddenly stand still... everything became lifeless... blackouts are almost unheard of here in Dubai.. unlike Lebanon... where we are used to constant black outs..

so that problem was dealt with... electricity came back and suddenly my PDA craps out on me... don't ask me what happened... i don't know... i just know that i had to do a full reset to get it working again... well at least i could still use it as a phone... to receive calls that is... cause i lost all my contacts and i don't have any numbers memorised.. *sigh* any way... restoring the PDA system as I write...

then... the head of the machine room called me to say that the Panasonic frame rate converter was reporting an error... heh.. it was a borrowed piece of hardware and very expensive to replace... apparently it was failing to boot... thankfully it seemed to be afraid of me... cause when i restarted it ... it worked again... *ouff*

the day since then worked out fine...... so far.... lets see how the evening goes....

EDIT: on my way to a certain play... i got lost... for 2 hours... i was lost... i only figured out how to get home when i realised i was in ...... Sharja

Rising above the Stars

How i dream to rise up to the heavens and travel at speeds unknown to man to the extreme ends of what is perceived as the end.

Apres moi, le deluge

i feel both relife and pain at the moment

Today a chapter in my life has been closed... maybe not permanently but at least for the time being.. the story of my Lady Unicorn has come to a conclusion.... sadly she tried to delay the inevitable but I was too determined and too disappointed with her to give her yet another chance....

the thing about chances is one tends to give them out freely because the benefit of the doubt factor plays a role .... but when does it become too much to bare? when does one realise that enough is enough? probably when it is too late... when the other person is already lost and taking you for granted.... slowly it creeps up like inertia (Massive Attack) ... the sensation... and then they loos you.....

I am not a saint... I have made many mistakes... but at least I admit my mistakes and I learn from them....

*sigh* why is that people never see what is gone until they burn. (Emilliana Torrini)

*sigh* then I suppose if everything in life was that simple.. things would not be that interesting....

as my fiance Nathalie keeps reminding me.. i am someone who would rather feel pain than nothing at all.... (Three Days Grace)

I must go on standing
You can't break that which isn't yours
I, oh, must go on standing
I'm not my own, it's not my choice

Be afraid of the lame They'll inherit your legs
Be afraid of the old They'll inherit your souls
Be afraid of the cold They'll inherit your blood

Apres moi, le deluge After me comes the flood

-------------------
Regina Spektor

yeh... my entry today is full of musical references..... here is one more.... i can hear the scream of the butterfly (The Doors)

Website is up

my web site is now up and almost complete...

a few more tweaks here and there and it should be fine for the time being...

with my new host i have the ability to install my own blog application... so... i am going to check it out and see if i make the move over to that or stay here

Where is home

originally 14 June 2006


I want to go home but where is home
I am lost
I want to belong
Neither property nor object am I
To someone I long to be
In some place I yearn to exist
But here I am
Nowhere, in the middle of a mirage
Surrounded by an ocean of sand dunes …
In a desert that is home to many…
In a desolate place that belongs to those who exist.
Yet again I am alone
In a crowd of empty faces
Endless waves pouring fourth
Crushing my body … a dance in A ballroom
… a masquerade …
Hidden faces that are clearer than day …
Where does it end?
Where do I go?
Where do I belong?
Who will notice my crimson tears?
Silence … from the void an echo of the past
Whispers in a shuddering boom
“no one”
To be a wonderful memory that is
Just like tears in the rain …
that is my only belonging existence.

Website

Well the web site is almost complete.... a few more bugs to iron out but its on it is way..

ugh.. and "free" web hosting is never free... or rather limited... i mean why bother giving out free websapce if your going to put restriction of file types like wmv and wma or any audio or video.... they main purpose of having my web site was to put up my showreel on it...

darn...
just went and bought my self a hosting plan... don't want to deal with the frigging hassles anymore

Worying for freinds

It is such a difficult thing to see a Friend in so much pain...

it is even more difficult to understand and accept that the same friend wants to be alone
personal space has to be respected...

but it does not mean i will watch without feeling pain... and i cant avert my head and pretend i don't see...

my the universe grant my Friend the strength and peace she requires...

Roling on

new set up

i have a wepage that needs to be updated

i have my own parked blog adress

also my picasa web album

and i will be uploading alot of vidoe soon to google video :)

things i need to remind my slef to do... update profile... website.. transcode videos.. WEDING PLANS ;-) .... and much more..

Hard to sleep

its always hard to damnd sleap....

heh.. this is just a nother silly post where i am just testing this thing..

still have nothing much to say..

i doont even know why i signed up for a blog.... i am a frigin introvert... and a dyslexic...

but i think eventualy i will figure out a use for this thing

in any even.. i should say that i cant wait till june...

am getting married....

this is Nathalie... my fiance... :-) my visit visa to canada was rejected.. so she travled 11,000 KM jsut to spend 2 wonderfull weeks with me...

everyone who knows me have "complained" about how i seem to be so much happier when she was around......

i miss her...

ugh.. there is more to say.. but this dragon takes his sweet time to so somthing like this blog :P