SpiralDragon's Blog

I have come to an important realization. I started this blog in an effort to vent my emotional frustrations born out of reading the news or every day events that make me cringe with emotional pain. The idea is a good exercise for me, a dyslexic who learns everything intuitively and more poignantly learns everything emotionally.   My moods swing as a result external emotional stimuli which triggers my complicated brain mechanism. Complicated not necessarily superior but capable of performing in unique ways that others cannot. My emotions are intense and I try to keep them at bay as best I can. But under such constant emotional pressure I need to vent it somehow or ells I will pay for it dearly with physical illness. I am a nonviolent person, I would like to think of myself as a pacifist and for the most part I am. So writing was the obvious choice for many reasons. It would help me improve my writing skills which I depend upon a lot, and it would allow me to find a way to comm...

My brain has crashed with the overload of information of news, thoughts, and feelings.  The hard thing about reading the news is that I get too worked up, especially when I see horrible situations that could, or rather should, be better.  I have always dreamed that I can help change the world for the better.  But I realized long ago that the world will go as it wills and not as we would have it. Still that does not stop me from trying and getting so worked up that I loose perspective and myself in an endless spiral of disparity and despair. Its time reboot my brain.

Relativity from a dyslexic dragon's perspective. Or at least from this specific dyslexic’s perspective. While most dyslexics have far too much in common, each dyslexic is unique. Dyslexics have a gift that allows them to understand things in multiple perspectives. It is a little bit like multidimensional thinking only we dyslexics see and understand things from a relative multi perspective. For instance. The word love has multiple meanings and more often than not when we use that word it can mean multiple all those multiple meanings. Loving a friend can mean many things like physical love, maternal love, puppy love, brotherly love, sisterly love, romantic love, painful love, ecstatic love, and so many more. When we use the word love we mean it in all its forms even when it means just one or is directed at a person with one kind of love. The reason every dyslexic is unique is because each one of us understands how things like’s events, concepts, ideas, culture, customs, mannerism...

I am dyslexic. By definition this means I have difficulty with words.... and numbers... and handwriting... and motor coordination... and.... well to be honest describing dyslexia can be complicated. Some call it a learning disability but I beg to differ. It’s just that dyslexics have a different learning style than most people and when placed in an environment that is rigid in its instructional manner... you know... the assembly line style of learning that almost every school and academic institution employs... then yes it becomes a problem. But this problem is can be compared to a tall man trying to enter through a door that was made for someone half his high. Being dyslexic can be cumbersome when dealing with daily life stuff. Like paying bills, keeping grocery lists in check, dealing with government bureaucracy (though admittedly almost everyone finds that process troublesome) and so on. Because we have difficulties dealing with such things some people might see us as "stup...

I am a passionate person. I like to revel in emotions and to feel like I have a purpose in life. I am a natural lover…. And I don’t mean the lecherous kind. I love unconditionally. Anything and everything that speaks to my soul. I am an Arab. A Lebanese more specifically. I am also part Armenian and part Russian. Passion is not only in my jeans but a reality for me. I have a strong urge to be the best I can be I have a strong urge to be someone with a purpose. I have a strong urge to be. I am a dyslexic. What “experts” call a learning disabled. It is true. I am learning disabled. I have a hard time paying attention. I have a hard time staying in focus. I have created a persona for myself to integrate into society as a fully functioning human being. But I am only pretending. I am only deluding myself. I am not one who lies. Only one who tells the truth as he knows it at that exact moment not more. I have lost my purpose. I have lost my innocence. I have lost my pas...

Denial is not a river in Egypt. That much I know. But denial of self is one aspect being dyslexic that does hinder my progress. Being dyslexic means having a super ability to overcompensate for what we perceive to be our weakness. Perceived, because we are more aware of the mistakes that we make than the casual observer would see. Being Dyslexic means that I can do multiple things at the same time and accomplish more than my pears could ever dream of achieving in a short span of time. Yet we never recognize this as strength. For us dyslexics, this is no more than our compensation mechanism kicking in because we feel inadequate.  The other day I was talking to a college, I was feeling blue, worthless, and useless… you name it. I was blaming myself for being too stagnant and having not achieved much in life. My good friend gave me a dirty look followed with a scalding “what do you mean you have nothing to show for yourself? Did you forget all the things you have already done?” the...

most of my friends ask me "why are you so negative?" to which i usually reply "i am not negative, i am an optimist who is being shredded apart" the same group say to me "you are too idealistic" as though it where an insult. my reply usually is "yes i am an idealist... it does not mean my idealism can not be real" those few words describe what i would probably require a 10,000 page book just to introduce the topic properly.  yet for me these few words say everything that i need to say with these few words my mind can Immediately access images, sensations, sounds, smells, touch, thoughts that scream through from the infinite past to the infinite future.. it becomes the universe.. yet i know that these few words are meaningless.... without the support necessary .... this form of support can take on any shape or form... words.. images.. movement anything.. i wish that the rest of my faculties would operate fast enough for me to actually be able t...