Making Sense of a World Wide Revolution in a Cacophony of Chaos

What are you protesting? 

This is a question that I have heard quite often since Occupy Montreal began on the 15th of October 2011. Due to the myriad voices that sprang out that day, almost each protester shouting a slogan of her or his own, the general public was lost as to what we where (and still are) protesting. From Tunisia to Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Israel, Spain, Greece, France, China, India, Russia, Germany, Chili, Brazil, Mexico, the USA, Canada, and many more countries, our main goal was (is) to protest the system of inequality that the greedy few (be they corporations, despots, or filthy rich individuals) have imposed on the majority of the World population. please mind the use of the word World with a capital W, as this is not an issue that touches folks merely on a local and isolated level. This is an issue, that now, in a globally connected world, touches every living soul on the face of this planet. All 7 billion plus of the earth's human population (and also that of other species from bacteria to animals and plants) are in one way or another affected by the greedy few and their lust for wealth and power, and in the process of creating the capitalist dream of false equality they have managed to make sheep out of us all. This is exhibited in the incredibly unbelievable line-ups of people every time there is a new release of an insignificant gadget like the i-phone or i-pad. True that these "marvels" of technology make life easier for us all in some ways, but they remain insignificant while much of the world still lives in absolute poverty.

For those of you who see numbers as more significant than human values here is the run down; 1.7 billion human beings (over 20% of the world population) live on less than $1.25 per day.

Over 50% of the world population (or more than 3 billion human beings) live on less than $3 per-day.

80% of the world  population lives on $10 or less per-day.

In contrast the richest 1% of of the world population own 40% of global assets while the bottom half of the world population owns 1% of the global wealth.

Poverty is not the only issue that has made so many of us indignant. There is also the worsening environmental situation, with yet many people who truly believe that climate change is a myth, nuclear energy is safe (even after Fukushima and with Chernobyl forgotten in people's minds). The business of war and profits from the sale of weapons (including crowd control non lethal weapons) to despots and oppressive regimes which have in many documented cases been used against a civilian population. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that have generated much misery amongst families of soldiers, wars that have worsened the situation of the local civilian population weather at home or abroad. The exploitation of entire peoples by corporations, all in the name of economic progress and growth that somehow always makes the rich richer and the poor poorer. Governments that have failed in their duty to provide the tax payers a sound return on their collective contribution towards the improvement of the larger community in which they live in.

All these issues are intricately connected on one level or another; the environment is deteriorating because we keep on consuming its resources that are not renewable, all in the name of economic growth. Vast oxygen making forests are cut down, several species have gone extinct in just the last 20 years, the world climate has indeed changed drastically over the last few years (unless you consider the opening of the north west passage a "natural" phenomenon) as a result of our ever increasing dependency on fossil fuels. Our hunger for more energy has lead us to build nuclear powered plants that produce radioactive waste that cannot be disposed of safely for thousands of years. The sales of weapons to despots, tyrants, and oppressive regimes like Saudi Arabia, Syria, African, and Asian countries has fulled the deterioration of human living standards across the world, all in the name of increasing profits for the industrialized nations' weapons makers and weapon brokers and smugglers. Those who make profits off the backs of the tortured, the hungry, the miserable, live a royally comfortable life void of conscious. The problems of Somalia, Sudan, Ethiopia and other poor countries, for instance, are artificially created by the leaders of those countries who prefer to purchase expensive weapons form the USA, Europe, Russia, and others, while their people can't even get access to fresh water, let alone use an infrastructure that would help them fight against famine, drought, and deplorable health conditions. As a result, the people of poor nations live a life of misery so that their leaders and the world corporate weapon makers may live a life of  extreme luxury.

Yet all of these issues, at first glance at least, seem far removed from wealthy countries like the the USA, Canada, and Europe. People I talk to in North America cannot fathom why the collective “we” should bother with the troubles and misery of “those on the other side of the world” when "we have it so much better".  I wish I had a penny for every time someone said "You can't compare the situation in the Arab world with us here in North America". This is a statement that I heard repeated time and time again, which at first glance might seem true, but scratch the surface a little bit and the realities quickly start to emerge with the stark differences suddenly tipping over to reveal a situation, that may be different in scale, but which is the same non the less.

In the Arab world people did not just rise up against tyranny. The people of the Arab world rose up against economic and social injustices. The same kind of injustices that exist here in North America, albeit at a much different scale.

Consider this; In Quebec the average income tax is around 45 percent, we pay around 15 percent sales tax and a varied amount of visible and invisible taxes. in short, we pay the federal and provincial governments a lot of money. in return what do we get? A transport infrastructure that is falling apart and a construction scandal to remind us all why this is so. We also get a health care system that is falling apart at the seems, ever increasing stoical program spending cuts, less and less free public services, increases in tuition fees, increasing numbers of people living in poverty, and an increasing number of homeless people with untended pharmacological conditions.  Yet the explanation I get from most people is that "we at least have a healthcare system unlike the USA and our tuition fees are still the lowest in all of North America".  

These kind of replies nauseate me.  We are not paying more than half the money we work very hard to earn so that we'd role over and accept the current situation as normal.  We are not paying these ridiculous amount of taxes so that we get told that there is a budget deficit while the infrastructure is falling apart. we are not paying through our teethe in order to be told that we also need to buy insurance for our cars, homes, health and whatnot, or to pay extra for roads and bridges that are also paid for with our tax dollars. Why are we paying so much more on top of all the sky high taxes we already pay?  We are not paying these nebulous amounts of money to our governments so that they would turn around and tell us that they need to make us pay even more for our children education, pay more for our health, pay more to have the infrastructure fixed, pay more for politicians to come up with laws that further diminish our basic human rights in the name of security while organized crime runs deep and rampant with tentacles intrenched in government and the security forces.  Are we (the protesters) the only ones who see that there is something wrong with this picture?  I am wide spectrum dyslexic, math is not my forte, yet even I can tell that the numbers just don't add up. Yet still I get mind-boggling responses to the effect of "that’s the way things are".

Is this the Quebecois way? is this the Canadian way? To just allow the corporate owned governments to continuously suck us dry of everything we have, and with our own connect to boot? What is wrong with people? Is it necessary to have a major catastrophe for people to realize that their comfort zone is not at all comfortable? That their comfort zone is cheaply and artificially maintained and that it could fall apart on them at a moments notice, without prior warning, and with no recourse, because citizens have all been to sedated by the main stream corporate media that feeds them the pill that they so desperately "need"? I-pods, i-phones, luxury cars, the latest and greatest of everything, online games, and many more distractions.

What has become of people? At what point did they turn into selfish, self-centred, uncaring egotistical creatures? Do they really think that just because they are relatively comfortable compared to others that they will not soon feel the heat?  Have people not yet woken up to the stark naked truth that the world has become intricately connected by a web of economic systems that is not that different from the ecological system; if the parts of the ecological web starts to fall apart the rest will follow. likewise, if parts of the world wide economical web starts to fall apart the rest will follow.  No one is safe. no one's zone of comfort is impervious. If they wait until the trouble begins it will be too late (not late for those whom are already poor and homeless and whom have already lost everything). It will be too late for those who think that they “have it all” and choose to remain “comfortable” while everything falls apart. Is it that common in Canada to ignore the proverbial big pink flying elephant in the room?  It is as if the economic turbulence of the great depression of 2008 has gone by with those who where lucky enough not to be touched by it be completely oblivious of the amount of misery it created?  is this the Quebecois way? Is this the Canadian way? To just simply accept a great injustice against all society as if it was normal? And then people have the temerity to ask why the protesters are so indignantly protesting against corporate greed and the great hibernation of the public morality. I am an indignant human being who will not stand silent anymore. 

For decades many of us who originally came form the Arab world have been predicting a pan-Arab revolution because of the socioeconomic situation that prevailed throughout several generations.  Many of us where baffled as to why people just kept silent while the boot of oppression was weighing heavily down on their necks.  The more one bottles up their indignation the more powerful the eruption of the volcano of outcries will be.  Just look at Syria. The Syrians have been quiet for such a long time (more than 40 years) that at the beginning of the Arab spring it was thought very unlikely that they would also rise-up. Yet rise-up they did, peacefully at first, but the illusion of a peaceful resolution in Syria has long since past.  This is the outcome of being silent and accepting injustice for too long. keeping ones head in the sand will not make the fast approaching steamroller vanish into thin air. It is time to wake up from your hibernation. Smell the horrible truth and go out there and do something about it, there are many peaceful, nonviolent and democratic ways in which the tide can be turned, but the tied will not turn on its own if it continues being ignored. The fate of the world is in every persons individual and collective hands.

We Are the 99%

We Are...

We are the 99%. The ones who are misinterpreted. The ones who are criticized with not having a coherent message even when our message is as clear as day; we want change, we want to live, we refuse to be slaves, we will not be bullied anymore, we will not allow anyone to deny us our human right to live and be free from the world economic system of veiled slavery.

We are the 99%. The ones who the 1% can’t seem to understand, the 1% that live a life of exuberant luxury while the 99% live in worry of how they will pay the next bill, how they will feed their starving children, how they will get out of the hell they live in. 

We are the 99%. The Arab Spring, the Israeli Summer, the American Autumn, the Global Winter. From Asia to Africa to the Middle East to Europe to South America to North America, the people are waking up from their long slumber. 

Long Have we set aside our collective and individual frustrations in favor of the “greater good of the Nation”, whatever nation that may be. Long have we bent ourselves over in order to keep the economy flowing for those who control the gateways of finance. 

Our governments are taking us for a ride, to accommodate the 1% who own everything in this artificially created concept of an economy, and our rights are eroding further and further, in order to make us pliant citizens (at least for those of us who are lucky enough to be living in a country where complaining about your situation does not land you in jail or the morgue or some random mass grave), in order for the 1% to live their lives believing they are “descendants of gods”, or “god’s gift to humanity” (the arrogance of the rich and powerful, though tempered, is not that different from that of a bloody tyrant), pushing us around, literally, physically, emotionally, economically, psychologically, softly, harshly, as though they had a right to do so. 

We are the 99%. We are the people, human beings, whom have had enough of the lies and theatrics of the capitalist elite. 

We are the 99%. We are assured by the government that we are privileged citizens living in a “free” society, except for the fact that the rich and powerful have found yet another method to turn us in to their slaves without making it so obvious; the world and sovereign financial systems. 

We are being artificially enslaved by the financial system. We are being forced to conform to the will of a capitalist economy that is built in the shape of an economically hierarchal pyramid. 

Do not be deceived; when we work from 9-5 to insure the maximization of profits for the ones at the top of the establishment, we are working for their “success”, not ours. They make millions and we get paid just enough to pay our bills (but not enough to get out of debt), we are nothing more than slaves to the system that is owned by the 1%. Debt that you where tricked in to acquiring. Debt that was forced on you under the guise that “you will have a better life if you are in debt”. 

We are the 99%. If they say that we live in a “free” society then explain to me why it is that we have to worry about how we will feed our children, how we will pay our bills, how we will afford a house, or a decent apartment, how will we provide our children with the best education, how can we get the best medical treatment, why should someone who is supper rich have veiled preference over us, why do tyrants (of nations and corporations) think that they can bully us, why do governments and corporations think that we are nothing more than expendable recourses… a statistical number… We are not a number… we are people. 

We are the 99%. We who fund the government, with the exuberant taxes that we pay, expect the government to remember that it exists to serve us, the 99%, not the 1%. This is the same message of the protesters in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Syria, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Israel, Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, India, Australia, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, England, France, Germany, Belgium, Iceland, Sweden, Chili, Venezuela, Bolivia, Colombia, Mexico, Cuba, Guatemala, Japan, North and South Korea , Thailand, Cambodia, China, Pakistan, The USA, Canada, and many, many more people who are trying to say that they have had enough. 

Tyrants may be ruthless, merciless, butchers, even criminals against humanity when compared to western leaders, yet Western “civilized” leaders are not any better. One use force to bully us around, the other uses “economic incentives” to bully us around… which is worse?... both. Both violate our rights as human beings though the method is in apparent stark contrast. 

There are those that say that if you work hard the System will treat you good. That is true… anyone who works hard is entitled to a better life….but that is not the reality for the majority of us who do work hard. 

There are those who work harder than everyone else and yet never get recognized. Never get appreciated. Never get promoted. They are the best at what they do and they work hard to ensure that they remain so. 

These are professionals. People who will work hard because they believe in their work, yet who will never join the craze for a “corporate career” that does not appeal to them, just because the artificial system we live in dictates that this is what we should do it does not mean we should kill our spirit just to conform in a system that is just as ruthless as Middle Eastern tyrants. 

We are told that in order to be financially successful we have to have a career. To rise and rise and rise further to the top where the “gods” entertain themselves at our expense. 

When we are criticized we are told that “anyone can be comfortable and wealthy if they work hard for it”…. That is true…. But what they don’t tell us is that we will be forced to gradually abandon our humanity (even when disguised otherwise) in order to climb to the top upon everyone else’s back, as aggressively and ruthlessly unmerciful as possible before we get anywhere… 

I, for one, have no wish to become a monster devoid of humanity in order to accommodate the delusions of the 1%. 

Yes, “anyone” can reach the (corporate) “dream” of being at the top. But what they do not tell us is that many of us have to remain right where we are so that those very few who are ambitious enough about their career can get to the very top. Of course they do not tell us that someone has to clean the streets, fix the roads, file the papers, man the stations, in order for all that we have built to work as it should, and for us all “to rise together as one people” (especially in a system where the cost of living skyrockets higher than we can afford). 

The world we live in is built on a system of inequality. Privatization of resources utilities health education and everything else when thy should be ours by right. 

Education (not the propaganda type, and certainly not the dumbed down versions of governments who see fit to cut educational expenses), is the key to improving any “troubled” community. 

Centers of academic learning, from nursery to higher education, have become corporatized. Education has become a commodity. Education has attained a commercial value, it is even traded in the stock market in an indirect manner. 

Yes there are scholarships… but how many of us slip through the cracks? 

Yes there are student loans… but why do we have to start off our lives in debt? 

Why should the 1% be entitled to the best of everything when there are those among us who deserve it based on merit alone? 

I am a dyslexic. In the system that I live in I am considered “learning disabled”. But the truth is that I am a faster learner than the average person… if you can figure out my unique learning style. As a dyslexic I have had to exert myself at great length in order to conform to what the majority deems as “normal”. 

Why should anyone dictate what is “normal” to me when time and time again I have proven myself, my value, my worth, my professionalism, my valued experience, my honesty, my determination to be the best that I can, appreciated, respected, yet still discriminated against because of my “different” way of accomplishing things. And believe me when I tell you that I have accomplished miraculous feats in order to accommodate the powers that be of the work places I have been at. 

I am Dyslexic and I am proud to be so. I am not learning disabled. I have my own unique style of learning. The majority of schools and academic centers rarely consider the unique learning style of the “learning disabled” because in this world of commodity, finance, and economics, it makes more “sense” to establish a system that resembles that of a factory assembly line. 

We are not manufactured machines. We are not digital beings. We are analog human beings. We are all similar yet each of us is unique… so how can education be given according to a one-size-fits-all system of economics. 

We are not lazy. We are hardworking people who excel at what they do yet don’t get the chance to rise up the proverbial ladder. Those of us who are unemployed are infuriated when we go to a government employment service and are told by an official that there are no jobs. “Go on welfare “they say. We do not want to live on welfare… this actually did happen to an immigrant friend of mine. She was furious. She had no intention to live on welfare. We want jobs… we want to put our experience to good use. We want to be productive but we want to do so on our own terms too. 

We refuse to be exploited anymore. The system we live in is based on inequality and exploitation. We are told that we are all equal and that we are free. If that was true then a hungry homeless man should have the right to enter a posh restaurant, sit down at a table, and have himself (or herself) a good hearty meal fit for a king. Bu that is not possible because the meal, in the system we live in, would be unaffordable to the homeless man. Yet we are equal? 

We live in a world where we are all equal… its just that there is the 1% that for some reason is more equal than everyone else. 

Health is of paramount concern. Health care is a right… not a commodity… the insurance of our health, to its full extent, is one of the reasons we pay so many taxes. Where is the healthcare system? Why are we paying private companies to do a job that should be taken care off by the government.. we are paying taxes. 

In every country, the healthcare system is somewhat to overwhelmingly privatized… one of the tricks that medical giants employ to their empowerment is that public healthcare is poorly funded… the long waiting times… the lack of doctors working for lower earnings… they try to convince us that by paying a premium we can get VIP status… but tell me why should someone, who’s merit is the depth of his pocket, get preferential treatment over someone who is in more urgent and dire need of it? 

Pharmaceuticals, in the system that we live in, are commercially competitive, and inevitably playing with our lives by selling us legal, but addictive, drugs, or exuberantly priced cures for diseases that kill many who cannot afford it. 

Government exists to serve the need of the people and to provide the same kind of services for all people. Governments take our taxes and give us poor services and then they encourage us to seek private help. The same with public and private education. Government should be providing service that is better than the best of the private “services”.. the government services should be the standard all others should aspire to emulate. Government has to be flexible with technology and to always be ready to deal with any citizen’s demand rather than the individual citizen who has more wealth and power. We are all powerful. We are the one that fund our government by our sheer numbers. This is our government and not the government of the of the 1%. 

We are all united in our cause. People around the world are rising up to reclaim their lives and their governments. We are united in cause. Borders have been shattered. Let us work together. Let us never give up. Let us create a new system together. A system we can all be proud of. A system based on equality for all. This is our human right. 

We are the 99%. 

We Are…

The quagmire and the coming storm

So the Russians do not want Bashar to step down because they have a lucrative business going on with them, and also because it is their hand in the Middle East. The Turks don’t want Bashar to step down because they are terrified of a Kurdish uprising and probable declaration of independence. the Israelis do not want Bashar to step down because they are terrified of a free Arab world much more than they are of a despot who terrorizes his own people. So they, the Israelis, are doing the best they can to make the Arabs look as bad as possible to thwart the efforts of the Palestinians of gaining recognition for their statehood... can any one remember the price that was paid by the Palestinians for recognizing Israel as a state? 

the Israeli government of Netanyahu where taken by surprise when they had an uprising of their own... a terrorist attack, followed by a bombing of Gaza, followed by the accidental killing of Egyptian border patrol. Following that, elements in Gaza declaring the end of the cease fire that has prevailed for a couple of years, just on the heels of the Palestinian declaration of statehood.... I suddenly can’t find any news of the Israeli protesters in the main stream media. All a little too convenient perhaps? There are reports that the Israeli forces had “prior knowledge” to these attacks. I don’t think the Israeli government expected Egypt to pull its ambassador all of a sudden. That frightened Netanyahu even more and caused them to apologize to the Egyptians when they outright refuse to apologize to the Turks, who by the way used to have very good ties with Israelis... strange that. Eleven the Israel social protesters realize that this is no more than a ploy to hit at the Palestinian bid for statehood and, at the same time, a ploy to divide the Israeli social protesters. 

Stranger still is the fact that turkey now stands poised in a perfect position to take over Syria’s mantel as the bastion of defiance against the great and "evil Zionist state". A little too convenient. Apparently the Turks are not yet ready to interfere with Syria because they do not yet have a clear candidate to be their puppet. 

The protests in Syria are a perfect example of the importance of a unified movement that is well coordinated and that lacks a leader… an unnecessary leader. This is democracy. Not the commercialized version that the west is so eager to sell the Arab world. People working hand in hand, watching out for each other, hand in hand, never relenting to chant and defy oppression without resorting to violence themselves. They, who are about to die protesting salute you, people of the free world. This is the anonymous movement of a unified people. 

Israel, who, ironically, does not recognize the Armenian genocide because of their strong ties with the Turkish state, even after the Mavi Marmara incident and the severing of ties between these two states, has all too quickly apologized to the Egyptians for the border patrol death. Turkey seems to have applied for the job of powerbroker in the area to replace the Syrians and the Iranians. So, ironically, the Turks are now terrified of the fast pace of events that are moving and are at a loss that they still do not have an inside candidate suitable enough to be their puppet and who will be accepted by the people... so naturally, the Turks, like the Israelis, they are terrified of an "unstable Syria" (as if it is not unstable as it is in the hands of Bashar and his lackeys) and fear more than anything a currish uprising against them and the creation of a Kurdish state. After all, the Turks do still occupy Kurdish land, as do Syria, Iran and Iraq. Why does this sound familiarly similar to the Arab/Israeli problem? 

So the Turks will not heed the calls and cries of widows and orphans, they will not heed the appalling murder of 2 1/2 year olds. Will not heed the cries of a mother who lost her child, will not heed the cries of indignity, humiliation and physical violation, and murder of Syrian women and children, they will not heed the cries of the Syrian people calling for Bashar to go, they will not heed anything that is of real human value because they are terrified of what the Kurds will do if they do not install a puppet of their own in Damascus. At least every one knows that the Arab league is an ineffectual entity controlled by despots so there can never be anything expected from them. The Turkish government seems to be even worse than the Arab League. The Turkish state has now not only helped Bashar stab the Syrian people in the back, they also twisted it. 

The Russians... well Putin still thinks he is fighting the cold war... but that may not be too far from the truth. Putin wants to maintain some semblance of the old USSR and its allies as much as possible. Besides, the Russians have capital interests in Syria’s current regime. Putin is a delusional Stalin wanabe. He is just as bad as Bashar in that he suppresses the voice of decent, thou he does so more discreetly. 

China is just plan and simple terrified because it fears an insurrection of its own severely oppressed people. And why is Kim Jong-il visiting Russia right now? And why is it that the North Koreans are now becoming more vocal with their threats against the US and South Korea? And why has Iran suddenly right now found the American hikers guilty of being spies? Whatever was going to happen this weekend, whatever the west and their allies had planned for Syria has been thwarted by blackmail by the other side. 

Maybe the cold war is still raging but at a much colder temperature.. Or this is the impression I am getting at least. 

The stock market suddenly takes a dive and just as suddenly all the momentum that was building up this week against the Syrian regime dematerializes. It is now back to being a game of tug and war except the stress has increased, and where ever there is a massive pressure buildup, expect it to burst. 

So while everyone of these states and leaders sit there with their head up that place that don’t shine, trying to figure a way out of this quagmire of who-will-do-what-and when-would-be-the-right-time, and being all so concerned about stability and security-and wondering if Bashar would still be a viable partner in the Arab Israeli conflict business corporation that they have established, the Syrian people are still being murdered by the butcher of Syria. 

The US said that they want Bashar to "step aside" not "step down" this means they want him to lay low and out of site while he pretends to give over to the peoples demands and establish a new "reformed" sate while he continues to control things from behind the curtains, the Syrian people will not accept this, the people of the Arab Spring will not accept this either. 

Obviously western states have also lost their sense of humanity and lost every last shred of "legitimacy" along with Bashar losing his. The west, apparently, does not believe in the power of the people nor in granting them real democracy, not if it will threaten their commercial interests, and more so that of Israel and Israel’s security. 

Every time a child is killed, every time a Syrian is killed, every time a Syrian is raped, every time a Syrian is disappeared, the west loses its own legitimacy as much as Bashar and his lackeys have long lost theirs. 

The Coming Hurricane of Change.

It is time to intervene in the affairs of Syria. Be they internal affair or not. We, as a human race, should no longer stand idly by while we witness the slaughter and destruction of innocence. Not for religious dogma or celebration of self righteousness, not for political ambitions, not for financial gains, but for the welfare of our humanity and our compassion. 

Innocence is being mercilessly raped time and time again. Children are being cruelly disposed of, depriving the future of humanity of its greatest assets.

The time to intervene has come upon us and we must act now for the preservation of our humanity. It does not matter who you are, where you come from, what religion you believe in, what political ideology you follow, what way of life you choose for yourself. Stand up for humanity. Stand up for the dignity of the human race. Not for a specific race, not for a single peoples. Not for a single dogma. But for all that is living on earth and in this marvellous universe in which we live ever so insignificantly in.

It is we, the compassionate, the humanitarians, the conscientious, who will pave the way to the salvation of mankind, with our humanity, not with our discrimination, not with our prejudice, not with our dogma and ideologies but with reality of existence and with proper human concern and consideration.

The time to intervene is upon us. If we are to avert the terror that approaches us fast, this is one of the many things we should begin doing. We should agree to accept the consequences that will arise from our determination to end the injustice that our human brothers and sisters endure under totalitarian regimes as much as greedy capitalistic, nationalistic, egotistic, bigoted regimes of both the eastern and western worlds.

While the world is in turmoil over a man made problem that has a manmade solution for the flailing economy, debt, and such other meaningless concepts). Though radical, for such is the solution for the so called world economic problem of debt and what not. While nations pursue their selfish interests rather than those of humanity. While so called leaders continue to exaggerate their importance and superiority over others of different color, state, religion, gender preference, political thinking, and what ever else along these lines. 

Real innocent children, real innocent mothers, sisters, daughters and friends, real fathers, brothers, sons and friends, real people, are dying on the streets of many Syrian cities, and other parts of a struggling wide world.

The Syrian’s only crime is the pursuit of a better life rather than continue living under an oppressive regime that denies them even their liberty to complain about the harsh realities of everyday life.

The time to intervene and take charge of the very moment that will define what is left of our humanity is upon us. 

This is our chance to establish the foundations for world peace.

This our chance to alter our path from the collision course we are currently set up on by the speeding train of apathy and the trespasses against our existence, against the hopelessness that we feel as individuals, and the humiliation of our dignity as human beings. We are on a course of self annihilation because we have not yet learned to put aside our differences and work for the common good of our collective kind.

Inevitably what we fail to realise is the obvious message of every lesson in history, time, era, religion, and the evolution of idea across time, space, and peoples.

That we should all strive to be better, to accept our individuality ,and that of others, but to also be responsible towards others, be they strangers or loved ones, and to strive for the improvement of our individual and collective humanity.

Either we fall to our knees in to the servitude of the darkness that is coming, or we embrace the liberty and collectively of our humanity and strive for, at least, the unity of the mutual respect of our individuality and of our collective consciousness. 

We cannot conscientiously allow any wars to continue. We cannot conscientiously allow anyone to live in poverty. We cannot conscientiously continue to allow any man, woman, or child to die of starvation. We can no longer conscientiously continue to take advantage of others and deny others from living a comfortable, peaceful, and fruitful life. We cannot afford not to act conscientiously lest we abandon our humanity and become nothing more than monsters about to get extinct because of our arrogance, greed, indifference, and selfishness.

We are all one people. East, west, north south. Black, white, yellow, red, and a mixture of one or more. Religious belief, sexual preference, political ideology. We are all one people in spite of our uniqueness and differences. We are individuals and we are also part of a huge community. We have a responsibility towards each other regardless of all that we know and believe in. We have a responsibility to preserve life, human and non human. We can no longer survive the way we are doing now. The world is changing and we must learn to adapt individually and collectively or risk our own extinction.

Rise up for humanity. Rise up against the tyranny of tyrants, the inhumanity of apathy, and against the injustices of what is sold to us as a “free world”. Rise with peace and demand peace and an end to all the atrocities that are and will be in the near and far future. We alone decided our destiny. Choose wisely and humanly.

Follow Your Bliss

Follow your bliss... forbidden or allowed.. brake all your barriers and just follow what you feel is right, uncolored by your prejudices and see the reality for its goodness, though sometimes cruel, and accept the yourself as you are, spiritual and physical, and  deiced, for yourself,  based on your experiences, what the way to your bliss would be... and then act upon it only if it means that you do not infringe on anyone else's bliss and no one infringes on yours. its not easy. but its not impossible, but the out come rarely turns out as we expect it. so we also have to learn how to let things be.

The Hypocrisy of the Lebanese; the Still Uncured Plague that Rapes my People

The Hypocrisy of the Lebanese; the Still Uncured Plague that Rapes my People

On the 30th of July 2011, my wife and I attended a candle light vigil march in Montreal, in solidarity with the protesters in Syria, and especially with the children of Syria. I met a young Lebanese compatriot who was also participating in the march. I thought to myself that it is good that some Lebanese are liberated from the homeland mentality of follow-the-sectarian-leader-no-matter-what, and has decided, for himself, to participate in a march for dignity and true solidarity with the oppressed.

Then I spoke with him and was severely disappointed. From the start he flaunted his diseased mentality to me, claiming that what “these people” need is the sage guidance of the Hakim (the doctor or Wise Man). A reference to one of Lebanon’s extremist Christian leaders, Samir Geagea, leader of the infamous Lebanese Forces. I was utterly stunned to see someone living in North America with such an anachronistic sense of purpose.

I told him that I was of the opinion that people like him are like sheep that follow their respective nefarious and sectarian feudal lords, and that it is the sheep of Lebanon that are infected with a deadly disease called hypocrisy who have caused people like me to leave. Most Lebanese would agree that the politicians of Lebanon are ALL corrupt, but (and somehow there is always a “but”) this or that leader (whom they follow) is better than the rest. It does not matter if that leader has committed far too many atrocities to earn the title of “better”, it does not matter if the leader in question had contributed to the rape of Lebanon, they, the infected sheep, will follow the wolf blindly.

“They are all bad, but this one is good and wise” this is a common phrase I have heard from many Lebanese: Shiaas who follow Nasralah or Beri, Sunnis who follow Hariri or Mikati or whomever elese, Druze who follow, Jumblat or Arslan, Maronites who follow Geagea or Gemayel or Aoun, or one of the many splinter groups, and many.... far too many more. Then there are the other lesser groups like the Syrian Social Nationalist Party, and a few other such minor factions as the communist party and the representatives of the criminal cartels of the rich, famous and powerful kingpins. Each one of these so called leaders has contributed to the rape of Lebanon, the theft of its riches, the desecration of its sanctity, the oppression of a learned people, and the slaughter and defilement of the innocent.

The stupidity of those who will use force and political influence to violently repress a group of free thinking individuals, not associated with anyone, who stood up for what is a human cause and paid for it with a rain of hate and ground braking ignorance of a generation lost to the follies of our countries sectarianism and the kind of scum, crime, and subversion it nourishes.

A movement in Lebanon had embarked on an attempt to spark a revolution to end Lebanon’s sectarian regime. The movement had many supporters, the majority of Lebanese believe in the “ideals” of the movement, but the problem was, as it has always been, that the people think the time is “not right” for such a change yet. Why not? “Because the Muslims will overrun us” say the Christians. “Because the Christians will overrun us” say the Muslims. So they support the secular movement in principal, but they will not join it for sectarian reasons? That has never made sense to me……… I still draw a blank every time I think about it. This is a SECULAR movement….. You cannot agree with a secular movement and then reject the invitation to join it based on SECTARIAN REASONING.

While the rest of the Arab world is rising up in revolt against the corruption and brutality of their own regimes, the Lebanese are still bickering about which leader they would prefer to rape them. This is the Lebanese disease, hypocrisy at its purist level. A betrayal to Lebanon’s self-professed enlightenment. For you see, the Lebanese are an arrogant people. They regard the Syrians, the Egyptians, and especially the Palestinians, as beneath them… savages… desert dwelling camel riders. On the other hand, these very Lebanese, get offended when people from the west regard them in the same light as the Lebanese regard the Syrians, Egyptians, and Palestinians. How ironic.

One of the first questions a Lebanese asks you when they first meet you is; “where are you from?” This is not a genuine question. This is a loaded question to figure out to which sectarian feudal kingpin you belong to…. Not follow… BELONG TO…. As in “property of”, for that is how our leaders see us; nothing more than property that they can use and discard at will.

Lebanon Needs UNITY. We are all Lebanese. Our religious beliefs have no bearing on our nationality. It is everyone’s right to exercise their religious beliefs as they see fit, however... let us not mix religion with politics, for this has proven, and always will prove to be, a dangerous mix. Or have we all forgotten the great civil war that ravaged our beloved Lebanon for 15 years.

It was not the Palestinians who were to blame. It was not the Syrians who were to blame. It was not the Israelis who were to blame. No one other than the Lebanese people are to be blamed for the start of that war. It is us who gave our so-called leaders permission to lie to us, and then gave them our consent to rape us. We brought this upon ourselves. And we will do so again, if we do not shed our sectarian values, deny the feudal lords of our support, and continue to think of ourselves as Christians, Muslims, or Druze, first and foremost before we think of ourselves as Lebanese.

It is time to shed our old ways of dealing with one another and to finally stand united as one Lebanese people against the tyranny of the sectarian régime and all its lackeys, the feudal lords, and the diseased sheep that follow them blindly to their own demise.

We area a sick people. And the only cure to our aliment is to shed our sectarian hypocrisy and demand what is rightful ours: a peaceful Lebanon with a properly functioning government that looks out for the interests of the people rather than the interests of one group or another, or the interests of one feudal leader (za3im ya3neh) or his or her despicable tribe.

The Lebanese have scoffed at and denigrated the Syrian people for being the sheep who follow the regime with brutal blindness. Yet it is the Syrian people who now are teaching us a valuable lesson; tyranny will not be tolerated anymore, nor will oppression or corruption. And though Lebanon does not have a specific tyrant, Lebanon is ruled by several mini-tyrants; the feudal lords who preside over our heads because we gave them that power. Lebanon is rife with corruption. There is no party that is “less” corrupt than the other. There is no party that has “better” values than the other. If you believe the opposite of what I just said then you need to stop lying to yourselves.

Look around you. Look at the humiliation we have endured. Look at the disgrace we continue to endure every day. Look at the degradation of our society. It is not western values that have done this to us. It is not outside interference that has done this to us. It is WE who have allowed this to happen because we chose not to listen to the true teachings of our own religions and followed the liars who had us believe that we are in danger of being overrun by the others.

Lebanese enlightenment? It does not exist any more. Not while we cling on to our anachronistic ways.

Look at what is happening in Israel. The free thinking people of Israel where almost delegitimized by a right wing regime supported by ultra-right settlers. The government grew corrupt and attempted to curtail the peoples freedoms undemocratically and now Netanyahu and his coalition or right wingers are about to pay the ultimate price. The people of Israel have risen and are about to at least cause a change for the better of Israel and the Arab world.

Look at the unity and shaky discipline that the Palestinians factions in occupied Palestine are exercising. See how the people have begun to realize that they can do much more damage to Israel through peaceful means rather than trying to fight a losing battle. See how they now begin to ascend against all the bigotry, discrimination, and denigration that spews out of the Israeli propaganda machine. The Palestinian people have taken destiny in to their own hands and they are beginning to succeed like never before.

Look at the Egyptians. They ousted Moubark and grudgingly accepted the military transitional rule but are now again rising to ensure that things do not go back to the old ways. It is not enough to get rid of a leader, we must also make sure that what comes after is a massive improvement rather than just the better of two evils.

To my brothers and sisters in Lebanon.

If you want a country to be proud of. A country that takes care of your needs. A country that puts its people first and foremost rather than individuals like the feudal lords. If you want better economic conditions. A better life. A future. A cure to the dieses that plagues all of our people. Then you must work for it. Stand up for your rights. The political leaders are your enemies. March 8 and March 14. They are both toying with our lives. They are both guilty, equally, without exception, of raping our beloved Lebanon.

Rise up my brother and sisters and demand what is rightfully ours. A peaceful Lebanon, a secular Lebanon that views all its inhabitants as equal before the law, man, woman, child, Christian, Muslim, Druze, we are all Lebanese.

Cure yourselves from the plague of hypocrisy and ignorance that you have induced upon yourselves. Take to the streets and make your voices heard. Tell those leaders and their thugs to be gone, just like the every-day civilian Palestinians in Ein-el Helweh, came out of hiding during a gun battle between two factions, and forced them to disengage.

Tell them we want the fall of the sectarian régime. Tell them we want an end to corruption. Tell them we want an end to sectarian strife and values. Tell them we will support them no more. Tell them that we refuse to be raped any more.

Take to the streets and raise your voices as one. And when the elections come, go to the ballots. But instead of voting for any particular person or party or list or coalition, put in a vote for the end of corruption, the end of sectarianism, then end of our plight, the downfall of the sectarian régime and all the parties and leaders that make up its foundation.

Either that, or watch the events the area around us unfold and feel the shame for not being a part of this new destiny. Feel ashamed of falling behind and becoming the laughing stock of the world. We made ourselves sick. Now is the time to heal ourselves.

The Evolution of an Idea.

“Now I have become death, the destroyer of worlds.” The words uttered by Julius Robert Oppenheimer, sometime after he helped create the first atomic bomb and finally realized the Pandora’s box he had opened. Greek mythology credits a female called Pandora with opening a box that let out all that was evil into the world. The words are from the Hindu scriptures known as the “Bhagavad Gita”, a conscientious precursor to Machiavelli’s “The Prince”. Yet the truth is that man is a week creature not accustomed to accepting failure, thus the unleashing of all evil was scapegoated upon poor unsuspecting Pandora, who, in her turn was but a pawn in the hands of the Olympian gods to upset the balance of nature and the wisdom of an early form of a Christ like figure, Prometheus, giver of the flame of knowledge, a possible minor equivalent to the biblical eve and the tree of knowledge.

Now I have become death, the destroyer of worlds. The words ring in my ears as I witness the events of the world unfolding before my senses. An Arab Spring, an African American president, hacktivists, anonymous internet revolt, these represent the hope that remained when all evil escaped “Pandora’s” Box, faced against war, famine, greed, bigotry, in-humanity, and retardation of human evolution.

“Where is God?... God is dead… we Killed him…” wrote Nietzsche, and the world misunderstood his meaning and others, including Hitler, latched on to what they never understood. Used to it to their malcontent end. “Gott ist tot” “God is dead” Killed by the crusades, and the jihads, and the hypocrisy, and the lies of the church, the mosque, the synagogue, and all the politicians who used the, what was once the purity of faith in something greater than humanity, to their own personal worldly ends, killing god, killing faith, leaving humanity devoid of its soul and place.

Islam, Christianity, and Judaism, are all part of the same idea. Islam sprang out of Christianity, the prophet, and all prophets must be mad (a compliment rather than an insult), Mohammad was inspired by the teachings of the original gospels of Christianity, Jesus was a Jew who benefited from the trade of ideas with Hindu and Buddhist ideologies traveling along the roots of the world’s communication systems. Roads, caravans, merchants of ideas and manufactured products, like Mohammad thought to bring a positive change to his community and the world, amending the understanding of the Jewish texts in time and space. Though Judaism is not even the beginning, for the idea of faith goes back to when we were cave dwellers and maybe even before. Humanities attempt to explain the unexplainable and to describe the feeling of ones and individuality within the context of their understanding of the world. Everything is relative. Our perspective is relative. The seed of this idea has existed far longer than is believed, yet we fight to enforce which is the most riotous faith of all…… non, though few have grasped this idea yet.

Religion is no the only idea that has evolved over the long stretch of time and space beyond recorded history, all the way back to the origin of the vast universe in which we, insignificantly, live in. The uprising of the downtrodden, the peasants, the lower class, the poor, the oppressed who wish to learn and be enlightened and prosper with dignity and humanity.

God is dead, we have killed him, and in so doing we have doomed ourselves. Not that god is important but because we have, in our selfish pursuits of God, and godly ambitions, destroyed our own humanity. Just look at the news today and understand that we have gone astray and our ideas are in desperate need of evolving beyond the status quo that we cling on to with dear life, stifling our own evolution and enlightenment.

The world is about to change. The tidal waves of change will be unrelenting. The down trodden are rising up against slavery of the mind, body and soul. one way or the other, every evolutionary revolt has succeeded and will continue to do so…. So brace yourselves for the coming winds of eternal change.

The Turning Point

Is this the turning point? For Israel, for the Palestinians, for the US, for the world? The Arab Spring was the first sign of the massive worldwide change that is almost upon or door step? Maybe the Mayans where right. Maybe what we are about to witness will be the end of the world as we know it. As we know it from our current unenlightened and single minded perspective. What if everything was about to change? EVERYTHING. Surely any change is an end of what we know. But like anything and everything in the universe, there exists a cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. A star lives its life until it consumes all its fuels and then explodes in a massive super nova ball of fire from which a nebula is born, a nebula from which new stars are born. With every death there are more reborn. Life falling into death and death falling into life. The hunter and the goddess. Everything is changing everything else. All falling together in to a spiral of eternity.

Not a circle, for in a circle we relive all that was exactly as it was. And ‘was’ becomes ‘is’. We relive all that is, exactly as it is. The universe is not like that. The universe, everything in it, moves like a spiral, everything keeps repeating itself, all ideas are recycled, evolution moves towards improvement, everything changes, everything is in fact repeated, but everything is repeated differently. Similar, but not the same. Always different, yet the same. 

So yes. Change is coming. It has happened before and it shall happen again. The same story, but with different actors, more refined script, yet the same. Those who resist change have historically always been crushed by the weight of time.

A big change is coming, that much is obvious between the world’s two most dominant ideologies. Conservatism vs. liberalism. Conservatism holds back and resist change, always working against the due process of evolution and thus fighting back the inevitable. The only thing that is inevitable is perpetual change. Which we try to measure by units we call time, but time is a matter of perspective; A Teran year is shorter than a Jovian year and longer than a Mercurian year. Time is not absolute nor is it finite nor is it infinite. Time is a perception. A measure of constantly moving perspectives. This is the tsunami that those who resist change have to survive. 

And what are we at the universal scale where we are nothing more than subatomic particles by sheer contrast and similarity in scale over space and time.

Change is inevitable. We have two choices, either explode, then implode and become black holes, which some dying stars that are too massive for their own good end up being. A black whole, the sheer powerful pull of something greater than gravity. Death incarnate. The definition of absence of light. A monster from which there is no escape not even for light. Or die gracefully as brilliant super nova turned into a nebula, a star nursery. But who is to say that life does not begin with a black hole. Out of chaos comes order and of order comes chaos. An eternal spiral of change. A spiral galaxy, a local cluster of galaxies, a super cluster of galaxies with a heart, a black hole.

From life comes death and from death comes life. A cycle from our perspective but really a spiral because though everything is the same everything is also not the same. Change is coming. This September will get interesting but it is in 2012 that much of what is happening now will erupt like a volcano and change everything forever. Not the end of the world in a biblical sense, but the end of the world as we know it consciously. Just as forever also has an end. To see things like conflicts as ancient repetitions of the same thing, will repeat itself but never the same

Norway under fire

It really stumps my mind every time someone commits an atrocity on any scale. My thoughts go out to the victims and families of this heinous act. 

Anders Behring Breivik, 32, carried out a double, premeditated act of terror against his fellow country men and women. He has already admitted to the attacks and has stated that it was "necessary" to carry out such a terrible act and claims that all his reason shall be made public when the court hearing starts. 

His Facebook page already draws an unkind picture of him. He associates with the likes of bigoted groups like the English Defence League and Geert Wilders' Freedom Party. These are ultra-nationalist groups who believe tin the superiority of their race and culture over that of others, which ever way they wish to describe themselves, bigotry, really, is the only word that truly describes the true face of these so called nationalists.  Breivik, a conservative, took maters in to his own hands and attempted to illuminate as many non-conservative thinking compatriots as possible , first with a bomb and then by shouting indiscriminately at a crowed of Labor Party youth activists.

All that Breivik wanted to really accomplish was to put himself in the spot light and earn his 15minuts of infamy. He wanted to get the attention of the nation and by doing so has also gained the attention of the world. I am sure his intentions are to bolster support for his  anti "cultural Marxists/ multiculturalist traitors" agenda. But alas, I believe what will be accomplished by his act of terror is to wake people up and make them realize that ultra-nationalists and bigoted conservatives are a mistake and can be compared with the bigoted conservatives and ultra Islamist of al-Qaeda, the Taliban, and all those who carry out acts of terror against innocent civilians.  What Breivik may have accomplished with his madness is to turn the tied against this wave of ultra conservatism and nationalism that now threatens to drown Europe.  

There are better ways, more peaceful ways, more appropriate ways, to catch the attention of the world and media than to commit a crime so hideous that the lives of the innocent are painted with sorrow of their flowing blood.  Hate never wins.  Hate may oppress, hate my silence, but hate can never win.

What is wrong with this world is that the education system, along with the unchecked bigotry of corrupt politicians, and single minded religious clerics, not to mention the worsening economic situation of the world, have all contributed to the demise and erosion of our humanity.  I hope the world wakes up now and realizes that an end to this madness is demanded and desired immediately. drop all your weapons and march in solidarity with peace and the flowing blood of innocence. 

Natanyahu The Mad usurper of peace.

I seam to be on a "MAD" tangent... but here goes anyway.......

If what CIA man Robert Baer Sais is true; That the current rightwing Israeli government is planning on attacking Iran's nuclear facilities this fall, then for certain, the world will be going to hell. For those of you who think the world has already gone to hell I tell you that what is coming if the Israelis do attack Iran is far worse than anything we have seen so far.

The Israelis, without thinking of the consequences, plan to do this attack as a way to divert attention and swart the efforts of the Palestinian declaration of statehood expected this September. Undoubtedly the US will be forcibly drawn in to this war.

The Israelis are once again pursuing the wrong approach out of their arrogance and unwillingness to compromise for the cause of peace. Netanyahu’s rightwing government would rather condemn the world to darkness rather than make peace with the Palestinians, as they should have done more than a decade ago. At the same time Netanyahu’s government has greedily consolidated its maritime borders and annexed what should be Lebanese waters all because they, the Israelis, are too greedy to share the natural resources beneath these waters with the Lebanese state which is in desperate need of those resources to bring itself out of the chaos it exists in. 

Netanyahu the mad man is willing to plunge the entire world in to chaos out of nothing more than sheer greed. Anyone who claims that this is an action being taken in "self defense" or to "insure the security" of Israel is deluded. The way to security is through peace, the way to peace is through mutual compromise and not through the two faced statements of agreeing to appear to negotiate for peace while on the other hand doing all that is possible to make swart peace, as the Netanyahu government showed us with the case of the illegal continuation of settlement expansion on land that is internationally agreed to belong to the Palestinians.

A war with Iran right now would also swart the efforts of the Arab spring as the "greater Zionist enemy" (so referred to by Arab leaders and zealots) will once again be used as an excuse to subjugate the people as the Assad regime so appallingly does. It would also silence the growing voice of decent in Iran where people are increasingly getting fed up with tyrannical regime. It is abundantly clear that Netanyahu has no interest in fostering peace and would prefer to have the old tyrannical regimes of Al-Assad and Mubarak over a democratic and peaceful Arab world. Thus Netanyahu not only is greedy for recourses and contemptuous of peace but also a supporter of tyranny and a hypocrite who would be willing to support the very enemies that threaten him just for the unjust purpose of wrongfully "insuring the security of Israel" at the cost of the freedom, dignity, and blood of the Arab people who have rallied behind the call of democracy. Netanyahu is the usurper of the people’s aspirations; he will succeed where Bin Ali, Moubarak, Gadafi, Saleh, and Assad failed.

Iran is not Afghanistan, nor is it Iraq. The consequences of war with Iran will be dyer and sever. It could spark the third world war, but it will certainly increase and revitalize terrorist activities which have over the last few years dwindled, especially after the beginning of the Arab Spring.

Netanyahu the mad man is about to plunge us in to a world financial depression that will make the Great Depression seem like a walk in the park.

Against all reason and against the advice of even his own high-ranking military and intelligence officers, and against the advice of the USA that supplies and equips Netanyahu’s war machine much in the way that Iran supplies and equips Hezbollah, against peace, against any valid reason, the mad man, the war monger Netanyahu is about to deliver, not just the region, but the entire world in to the unrelenting clutches of darkness and chaos. There, I have said it, the IDF is not any better than Hezbollah.

People! Where ever you are, please writing to your governments and ask your policy makers to stop this madness before it begins for the sake of humanity and the future of our children. We have had enough wars. Where is the peace we were promised... whatever happened to "never again" or are these just convenient words to be used when it is necessary and to be ignored at free will? 

Stow away your guns and give us peace. Stop the madness NOW. Send Netanyahu, the mad man, a clear, but peaceful message; we will not support your madness or your war.

I am going Mad

Mad with the desire to be consumed in the flames of passion, yet the flames are out of my reach. 

I feel my body stirring. I know I am about to explode in to a brilliant ball of light.  

The longing of my heart, consumed in those flames, yearns for to be lost in the oblivion of her eyes. consumed, my soul yearns, to warp it self around the giver of life, the light that haunts my dreams and humbles me before the ecstasy of her power over me. 

I am going mad, anticipating her next move. will she accept me, bring my cold body in to the warmth of her terrifying heart?  willfully I await my destruction. will she deny me, and thus condemn me to in to Hades care? I know not and care not for I am lost in the oblivion of her eyes.

Will she ignite my passionate heart like a star born in the loins of of Andromeda's nebulous womb?

will she deliver me from the madness that now consumes me? my body yearns for the touch of her soul, scorching as it may be, engulfing my love in her eternal embrace.

The Way I Write

I have come to an important realization. I started this blog in an effort to vent my emotional frustrations born out of reading the news or every day events that make me cringe with emotional pain. The idea is a good exercise for me, a dyslexic who learns everything intuitively and more poignantly learns everything emotionally.  

My moods swing as a result external emotional stimuli which triggers my complicated brain mechanism. Complicated not necessarily superior but capable of performing in unique ways that others cannot.

My emotions are intense and I try to keep them at bay as best I can. But under such constant emotional pressure I need to vent it somehow or ells I will pay for it dearly with physical illness. I am a nonviolent person, I would like to think of myself as a pacifist and for the most part I am.

So writing was the obvious choice for many reasons. It would help me improve my writing skills which I depend upon a lot, and it would allow me to find a way to communicate my thoughts and ideas better since I have such a hard time doing it verbally that I am fed up of being miscomprehended most of the time. My perspective is usually so strange that no one quit gets it until after some time when they get to the same conclusions i have but which i had a hard time explaining coherently. 

Even at work they call me the mar man because of my strange ideas and advice which at first are dismissed until something happens that makes them realize my idea was not so farfetched after all. 

More than anything, writing would help me vent all those emotions that i keep under lock and key. 

Wonderful idea. Except for one problem. I have fallen into what I call the bureaucrat trap, where I am spending more time writing things in a method that would be more likely to be understood by someone else. 

This little realization has prompted me to remember that I am not like this. That I am expressing my self the wrong way. Well using the wrong method at least. 

Describing the process of a brain that functions emotionally is difficult. Describing an emotional thought is just as difficult if not more. I use the tools at my disposal, news articles, research, and citations, all of which I generally refer to as clutter when I write. I use them to describe how i feel about specific issues. 

But this method defeats some of the purposes behind the reasons for writing. It takes away from my essence because I am too focused on getting it all right and in format. This is not me. I write emotionally, connected rather than detached from the subject. What i have been writing is charged but missing the point.

But nothing goes to waste. Something good is always learned from a perceived mistake. Now, I have to set onto an effort that would shift me back to my more serene form of writing and not worry whether any one will connect with it or even like it.

My emotional thoughts need to come out more as myself.